RELATIONSHIP ISSUES PART 3: MR & MRS RIGHT

                     

    All around the world young men and women have listed love and attraction over personal traits as a requirement for matrimonial covenants. However , research have shown that people with the best marital satisfaction have ended up with people with excellent personal trait regardless of which type of spouse they think they want. Particularly, a spouse emotional stability and agreeableness have been discovered to stimulate sexual and marital satisfaction. Hence its better to have a warm, cooperative and agreeable spouse rather than have the arrogant, moody and hot looking spouse.

   You may be thinking that the spouses with excellent traits sound boring. You want someone very attractive and interesting, and believe you're willing to put up with some moodiness or arrogance to have that attraction. Remember the attractive and arrogant individuals always derive attention: they are sporadically emotionally or physically available, creating the impression that they are a scarce and valuable resources. The arrogant believes his/her good moods and love must earned. A process that hold at bay any evaluation of their characters.
   Young people who have ended up in relationship with arrogant individuals have failed to realise 1 thing, until they have endured a very long stretch of unfairness in their relationship; the fact that their arrogant spouse was expecting some consideration in return for the existence of such relationship. "Much like in a dating relationship in which the party who desires the other more must accommodate the other’s wishes, the arrogant spouse
assumes you will do more than half the work to compensate for your lower desirability. Their expectation sounds unreasonable, but arrogant people are image builders not truth-seekers" - Anita kelly Ph.D.
    The exclusive focus on a partner's good quality and not the bad ones could also cloud good judgement of their character. Consider what Walter Mischel observed regarding how people judged whether a given person had a certain personality trait. He found that they would recall and string together examples of that person’s behavior across time that were highly representative of that specific trait—yet they would fail to notice contradictory examples. For example, in determining maybe a friend is caring we might remember when she lent us money or gave us food to eat, hereby, overlooking her other uncaring behaviours.
   To keep from ending up with an arrogant, deceptive, or exploitative spouse, cast a broad net. There are so many single people out there, especially on internet dating sites, you have no excuse for settling for the gummy worms on the kitchen counter when you can find a golden apple elsewhere. Remember what you are looking for is humility and what you are avoiding is arrogance. When you do find that sincere, humble, fair-minded
person, you might be shocked to discover how sexy he or she is rather that the believe that humble people are uninteresting and unattractive.
   You can never be sure if a romantic partner is decent enough for marriage, but you can tell if they are not good enough from their belittling acts.

Note*: Mr. right is not always right but Mr. wrong is always right. - Daramola Olamodesi

FIELDING THE DEVIL

   Who is the devil?, The devil from the Greek word diábolos meaning slanderer or accuser is believed in many religions, myths and cultures to be a supernatural entity that is the personification of evil and the archenemy of God and humankind.
   Even though the devil is perceived as the archenemy of mankind, people still run to him during tribulation, seeking power, seeking riches, seeking fame and seeking redemption from the king of damnation.
   Many have sought his atrocious face but few have found it. The few that found that face, struck a deal with baphomet, Lucifer, beezelbub or so which name they call him.  They became great, they became rulers of this world, they got fame and became celebrities, with only 1 price to pay in return, eternal damnation of their soul.
   Those who seeks his face without even gifting their soul to him, are still requires to pay a debt of blood sacrifice. Ilblis does not give without a price. He grants you wishes for a price to pay.
   Something  that amuses me most about the said lord of the underworld, is that he is still inferior to some other entity(e.gGod) as prescribed by many tales and religion all over the world. And people still seek the face of this inferior entity, when there is a superior entity waiting to save their soul.
   You can field the devil, yes but you can't expect to defeat him in the game. No matter how intelligent a man is he can never transcend the brilliance of this trick master. He gives little and takes large. He promise you a child in return for an adult. You can never outsmart him. Imagine a scenario where a man is immune to death sentence and he commits murder and get life imprisonment in return, this is just how the Satan manipulate the soul of man, he give the so called immunity to your soul on earth, in return you commit murder for him and you then suffer life imprisonment at hades.
   Fielding the devil symbolise 2 things ---1. playing a game of his own against him(trick) and 2. Fielding him as your player and expect him to win the game for you. In the first instance, trying to trick the devil is like playing the game of chess against magnus carlsen or playing the game of soccer against Lionel messi. That is the devil's best field(trick). For example a man ask the devil to be a world ruler in return for his soul, bearing it in mind that he would repent after becoming such ruler, the devil did make him a world dictator but in his first day in office he was assassinated. Checkmate!!! In the later instance "you can't field the devil and expect him to win the game for you"(#isedquotes). The devil on 1 part is already a loser to a supreme being and you signing a pact with him, means you becoming a part to the devil's loss. The game between God and devil is already won, is it possible that evil supersede good?
   The devil is human ultimate enemy, never perceive him as your friend even when he poses to be, remember if you ever play his game against with him, for him or against him, you are on the loosing end

ENSLAVED BY FREEDOM

   Slavery refers to a condition in which

individuals are owned by others, who
control where they live and at what
they work. According to the wikipedia,
Slavery is a legal or economic system in which principles of property law are applied to humans allowing them to be
classified as property, to be owned, bought and sold accordingly, and they cannot withdraw unilaterally from the arrangement. In other words, the aforementioned owned individuals are called SLAVES.
   On the other hand, FREEDOM is the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved. It is the power or right to think, speak and act as one wants. FREEDOM is the removal of restriction from ones movement and legal actions.
   After accessing the two facts supra,  is it not contrasting to call someone a slave of freedom? I.e a slave of dis-enslavement. Well the topic SLAVES OF FREEDOM was just to create our awareness to the fact that humans are getting lost into freedom. Some act we make out of freedom are uncalled for.
   Through out the history of man, from the ancient world to the modern world, slavery have existed, human keep and will keep agitating for freedom. Majority of humans won this freedom fight but in turn became a slave of them self(flesh) and the so called liberty took control of everything.
   The disadvantages of having too much freedom is the loss of control amongst the people. Anarchy. The more freedom you have the less government the less service that can be provided to a person. A person could have the freedom to walk around and kill people at will. People trade freedom for safety in our society today.
   Take for example, the call for the same sex marriage is all grounded on the fact that everyman has the freedom to do what he wants with is body. Another example is the husband and wife equality status, another act which is grounded on the fact of individual independence. Although a man might be free to do what he wants, but have the consequences of this acts being evaluated? The passing of a bill for same sex marriage encourages such a devilious act and a bill for equal status in marriage will tear apart marriages. Imagine a world where even cultist push for freedom of association, that is the world we are

   A slave of freedom wants what makes him happy, does he really thinks about the state of other people's happiness in relation to his own happiness? NO, he doesn't care, all he care about is AM I HAPPY? For instance the SLAVE wants freedom to engage in same sex marriage but does not think that his action might corrupt the mind of the general public. The slave smokes in the public place because he is free to do so, without thinking about the health of the people in his environment.
   Conclusively, for a better society to exist, we need to check our mind, our conscience and our thought, are we not 1 of the people FREEDOM have enslaved?, are we not lost in HIS tentacles? If we are one of HIS slaves, I urge us to take a stance against FREEDOM'S unforeseen tyranny today.

POWER OF ENCOURAGEMENT.

   Who said the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon-- zig ziglair.
   Encouragement is to stimulate inspiration through confidence, courage and spirit. It is the act of encouraging I.e to do something to make someone do something.
   People sometimes loose faith in them self and what they can do, they feel like the world is crumbling down, they can't find a safety plan or an escape route from their current situation. Anytime we find people in this state of depression, we have to help them, we need to encourage them because that hello, a helping smile and a word of encouragement might change the whole story or even save a life.
   Anne frank observed that how wonderful will the world be if people didn't wait a single moment in improving the world. "Truly the world is dieing and to resurrect it we need the word" -- ised. We can't just sit down and do nothing, a world of encouragement must be said on daily basis to heal the world and better the thinking of its habitants. Take for example if a man looses all his wealth maybe through a business failure or through some other means, he then decides to commit suicide, how good will it be if you could just convince him that his loss is not the end and he still have a lot to offer to the world. You did save a soul at this moment.
   The picture above portray a true fact about everyone of us. We all have that better part of us we are not exploiting(the great version). We all have more in us than we think, all we need is a little spark, an obvious encouragement to get us out of our oblivion.
    Man is granted a limited time to grab and stamp his name to this world's mark book, but still you have to decide what to do with this limited time in a very very limited time. You can't just seat back thinking things will be better, you have to take a step, fight the struggle, and conquer the hustle.
   IN CONCLUSION, we need to heal the world from crime, corruption and depression and we can only achieve by encouraging ourselves and others.

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES PART 2: RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE

                                       Check your relationship today is it love or Stockholm syndrome? Or Lima syndrome ?. are you the captor? or the hostage?-- Daramola olamodesi.

   Domestic violence is violent or aggressive behaviour within the home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner.
   Domestic violence is one of the major problems of relationship nowadays, and many of such victims have kept quiet about their abysmal plight.
   Domestic influence may include the following:
1.physical abuse.
2.Verbal/Emotional abuse.
  Physical abuse is any intentional and
unwanted contact with you or something
close to your body. Sometimes abusive
behavior does not cause pain or even
leave a bruise, but it’s still unhealthy.
Examples of physical abuse are:
Scratching, punching, biting,
strangling or kicking. Throwing something at you such as a phone, book, shoe or plate. Pulling your hair. Pushing or pulling you. Grabbing your clothing. Using a gun, knife, bat or other weapon. Smacking your bottom. Grabbing your face to make you look at them. Sexual abuse etc
   Most college and high school relationship nowadays suffer physical abuse and the following steps should be taken against such abuse: realise such behavior is wrong, talk to an adult about it, create a safety plan, do not create excuses for such physical abuse and remember physical abuse is never your fault.
   Emotional abuse includes non-physical
behaviors such as threats, insults,
constant monitoring, excessive texting, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking.
   Emotional abuse may include the following: Yelling and screaming at you.
Intentionally embarrassing you in
public. Preventing you from seeing or talking with friends and family. Telling you what to do and wear. Damaging your property when they’re angry (throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors, etc.) Blaming your actions for their abusive or unhealthy behavior. Accusing you of cheating and often being jealous of your outside relationships. Stalking you etc
   Verbal abuse might have not inflicted any damage on you physically but it affect your state of mind. E.g getting scared unnecessarily, negative thoughts etc can lead to emotional pain and damage.   
   Remember emotional abuse is never your fault. In fact, your partner may just
be trying to control or manipulate you into
staying in the relationship. Talk to someone you trust, like a parent, friend or
teacher, about the situation and make a safety plan.
   IN CONCLUSION, domestic violence must be prevented,it is a growing disease in our society and fast measures should be taken against this cancer. This prevention strategy may include the following:
1. Reforming the legislation.
2. Changing gender norms.
3. Promoting respect relationship etc.
  

DEFINE YOURSELF WITH YOUR FRIENDS

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm

   A friend is someone who is on your side. An example of a friend is an ally in a protest. Friend is defined as a person that you are fond of, with whom you talk or spend time. An example of a friend is the person you have known a long time and trust.
   Now that’s an interesting thought, isn’t it?What does that mean to you? Take a look at your network. Take a look at your friends. Who do you spend the most time with and how do they make you feel? Will they help you achieve your goals?

   The ancient saying "show me your friend and I will tell you who you are" further more concretes the fact been addressed here. A man who befriend honest people tends toward being honest in corollary to this a dishonest fellowship also tends to be dishonest. The word our friends speak, their orientation, their beliefs have a long lasting effects on our character and beliefs.

   While observing the saying from Jim Rohn,"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” helps me the arrive at my own notion; walk with 5 millionaire and you will be the sixth millonaire, walk with 5 broke asses and you will be the sixth broke ass. You move with people that can improve, people that can make you better.

   The people you spend the most time with should: Make you a better person                       Support you,                                                             Push you to meet your goals,

Inspire you,

Help you transform.

   In conclusion there are 5 type of friends you need to have. They include: 

1.A Dreamer will help you dream it.

2.A Driver will help you turn dreams into

reality.

3.A Motivator will inspire you every step

of the way.

4.A Supporter will never leave your side,

through good and bad times.

5.A Devil’s Advocate cuts through the BS

and tells you the real deal.

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES PART 1: ARROGANTIC EFFECTS.

Don't date an umpire
Never date a squire
Date someone you admire
Keep up the desire
To rekindle the fire - Daramola olamodesi
   Relationship is not easy as it seems on the first purview with a deeper leap into such relationship you did get to know each other better and you might discover whoever you are dating is a wrong partner or the right 1 for your marriage. As the subtopic to be discuss mentioned supra is ARROGANCE, which is not cool for any relationship.
   Don't ever date an umpire I.e a person that will control your life entirely and ain't ready to change is no the right person to be your life partner. Love might suppress the effect of this oppression, but it will only last for a while because as time moves on  and there are no changes in the arrogant party's mind the love might wither and all will be gone. For instance imagine a man who doesn't regards the opinions of his wife, he threw everything at her face ... The woman might endure for the time being, but as time goes on she might not be able to cope again and pull a KANYE on such marriage.
   "Never date a squire"-  many thinks dating a total submissive will help the build a good relationship but it doesn't work like that, a submissive cannot help a dominant achieve what two bosses will achieve together. Truly the old adage that 2 heads are better than 1 is true. A house where the wife can't advise the husband and the husband can't advise the wife is going nowhere. We need the advise of our partners hence it is not advisable for us to date a squire since a squire cannot do more than serve his master.
   If a man date someone he admires and adore, every time the partner is angry with another and he remember how much he admire his lover he desire her more and the fire of love burn higher. A partner who admire another partner does not disregard such advise from the said partner. He holds her in high esteem and takes her word for her heart.

THE FOUNDATION OF SUCCESS IS SELF CREDULITY

                                        "As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. 

   Credulity is the tendency to be too ready to believe that something is real or true. As soon as a man start to discover his real self and trust that self he will know how to live and success is on his way. A man should always be himself and have faith in himself. Do not go out and look for a
successful personality and try to duplicate
it.
   While many have never achieved success in what they do, they are scared to talk to a girl, make friends, run successful businesses and get rich, why?, because this people didn't really believe in themselves. They are scared of failure, they are scared of what people will say, self doubt still uphold a higher place over them.
   Mistake is necessary, we must accept mistake as been positive instead of negative, try and fail, only through this can a man know his flaws and how to address them. Sometimes being rejected is positive because it grants us a moment to thing about where we have f**ked up.. The best people in history were not socially accepted in the first instance during their time e.g truth-tellers like Socrates, Jesus, Gandhi, Proudhon and Bakunin, Martin Luther King Jr., animal rights philosopher
Peter Singer, unschooling pioneer John Holt, women’s rights activists, abolitionists, and many more Were not socially accepted at their first attempt.
   These things we’re afraid of, they’re actually desirable. We need to learn to see them that way, and embrace them, letting go of the fear. Today I present to you steps to achieving self-credulity which is the basis of success through practice:
1.practice to Push past your discomfort, growing your discomfort method. Human cannot achieve all his success in his comfort zone sometimes we need to step into our discomfort zone, don't be scared of the STRESS.
2.Are you still scared of them?,Put yourself out there, and be OK with not knowing if people will accept you.
3. Stick to a habit, (not listening to the negative self-talk that normally holds you back)
4. Stick to it some more, and learn to trust yourself
5. Go into situations not knowing, and learn to be OK with that.
6. Learn through repeated attempts that it’s OK to fail, that you can be OK in failure.
7. Learn through repeated experiments that you are stronger than you think, that you are more capable and more tolerant of discomfort than you think
   If you stick to this practice you will find your self-credulity leading to self-realisation and finally arriving at a great mind.

SUN TZU STEPS TO BECOMING A GREAT LEADER

  There was no greater war leader and

strategist than Chinese military general Sun Tzu. His philosophy on how to be a great leader and ensure you win in work,
management, and life is summed up in
these 33 pieces of advice. They can all be
applied by you in your job when you go
back to work next week:
1. A leader leads by example, not by
force.
2. You have to believe in yourself.
3. Appear weak when you are strong,
and strong when you are weak.
4. If your enemy is secure at all points,
be prepared for him. If he is in
superior strength, evade him. If your
opponent is temperamental, seek to
irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that
he may grow arrogant. If he is taking
his ease, give him no rest. If his forces
are united, separate them. If sovereign
and subject are in accord, put division
between them. Attack him where he is
unprepared, appear where you are
not expected.
5. The supreme art of war is to subdue
the enemy without fighting.
6. Supreme excellence consists of
breaking the enemy’s resistance
without fighting.
7. If the mind is willing, the flesh could
go on and on without many things.
8. Victorious warriors win first and then
go to war, while defeated warriors go
to war first and then seek to win.
9. To know your Enemy, you must
become your Enemy.
10. Keep your friends close, and your
enemies closer.
11. Can you imagine what I would do if I
could do all I can?
12. Even the finest sword plunged into
salt water will eventually rust.
13. Engage people with what they expect;
it is what they are able to discern and
confirms their projections. It settles
them into predictable patterns of
response, occupying their minds while
you wait for the extraordinary
moment — that which they cannot
anticipate.
14. If you know the enemy and know
yourself, you need not fear the result
of a hundred battles. If you know
yourself but not the enemy, for every
victory gained you will also suffer a
defeat. If you know neither the enemy
nor yourself, you will succumb in
every battle.
15. Thus we may know that there are five
essentials for victory:
1 He will knows when to
fight and when not to fight.
2 He will win knows how to
handle both superior and inferior
forces.
3 He will win whose army is
animated by the same spirit
throughout all its ranks.
4 He will win who, prepared
himself, waits to take the enemy
unprepared.
5 He will win who has military
capacity and is not interfered with
by the sovereign.
16. Be extremely subtle, even to the point
of formlessness. Be extremely
mysterious, even to the point of
soundlessness. Thereby you can be the
director of the opponent’s fate.
17. Strategy without tactics is the slowest
route to victory. Tactics without
strategy is the noise before defeat.
18. There are not more than five musical
notes, yet the combinations of these
five give rise to more melodies than
can ever be heard. There are not more
than five primary colors, yet in
combination they produce more hues
than can ever been seen. There are not
more than five cardinal tastes, yet
combinations of them yield more
flavors than can ever be tasted.
19. Opportunities multiply as they are
seized.
20. When the enemy is relaxed, make
them toil. When full, starve them.
When settled, make them move.
21. Know yourself and you will win all
battles.
22. Move swift as the Wind and closely-
formed as the Wood. Attack like the
Fire and be still as the Mountain.
23. Let your plans be dark and
impenetrable as night, and when you
move, fall like a thunderbolt.
24. When strong, avoid them. If of high
morale, depress them. Seem humble to
fill them with conceit. If at ease,
exhaust them. If united, separate
them. Attack their weaknesses. Emerge
to their surprise.
25. All warfare is based on deception.
Hence, when able to attack, we must
seem unable; when using our forces,
we must seem inactive; when we are
near, we must make the enemy believe
we are far away; when far away, we
must make him believe we are near.
26. There is no instance of a country
having benefited from prolonged
warfare.
27. The greatest victory is that which
requires no battle.
28. Treat your men as you would your
own beloved sons. And they will
follow you into the deepest valley.
29. Build your opponent a golden bridge
to retreat across.
30. All warfare is based on deception.
31. When you surround an army, leave
an outlet free. Do not press a
desperate foe too hard.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER; YES, BUT HE IS ALSO AN HARD ONE

   EXPERIENCE can be defined as the events and activities of which one is cognizant, the collection of this activities from which individual and groups may gather knowledge, skills, opinions etc and the knowledge thus gathered. And personal means pertaining to an individual hence personal experience is the sumtotal of all the knowledge gathered by an individual through activities in which he/she engages in.
   Common sense says that experience is the best teacher. Indeed, the lessons from experience are powerful, the more painful the stronger the lesson.  If we face a risk
frequently, and experience the painful consequences of bad decisions, we quickly learn and adapt to change our behavior. If we get burned every time we touch a hot pan, we quickly learn not to touch hot pans anymore, to use an oven mitt and be careful. The association of pain with hot pans is strong and lasting in our minds.
   Though this activities have lasting touches in our brain, there are times when we shouldn't leave by experience for although its the best teacher, sometimes he teaches the wrong lessons. For instance a major risk happen rarely and if we only face this risk once in a life and escape unscathed, experience teaches us that a rare risk like this is not worth worrying about, that everything will be okay. Another instance where experience might teach us wrong lesson is if a group of people were informed that a terrorist group is heading towards their was to commit an onslaught in such their villages, and this people decides to quit their homes but let me say fortunately the terrorist never came. The residents of such village might get disarrayed by the fact that they have wasted their time packing and if on another time the same announcement is made most villager might stay back because of the fact that in their first experience the terrorist did come and this might not be so on the second experience.
   Secondly experience sometimes might be an hard teacher I.e it might not give room for you to even put the knowledge gained from the experience into use. Some experience might kill you and some can disable you for instance a great warrior was told about the lions Den, and this warrior decide to hunt down but during the hunting he made so mistake and the lion killed. The lessons he learnt from his mistake is of no use to him again because he is already dead. Likewise if a man was given a 1 time rare opportunity to lead an army against an enemy ... He is not provided the time to lead the war with only the experience gained from the was. Anyone who does it is just like a man who built a house of straw beside a fire.
   Rather than believing that personal experience is the sole source of knowledge, my dear readers I urge you to know that it is not so for sometimes the teaching in our classrooms, churches, mosque etc are better of listening tho for some experience will kill you and sometimes experience teaches us wrong lessons.
   Sometimes we don't have to wait to be thought by out own experience but by the experience because there is a Yoruba adage which says ogbon ologbon lafin Shari kogbon I.e human gain experience through the wisdom and experience of others
   IN conclusion, never wait to be thought by experience for you can be a step ahead of him by thorough learning by books, lectures and communication and the experience of others.

BEWARE !!! AVERAGE IS OUR ENEMY

                    

    It is right to be content with what you have(material), but never with what you are (self-importance). Reverse is the case in our society today, many people are contented with what they are, their current position and still are not contented with what they have, they want more.

   For a man to want more he needs to work more, he needs to see the position of been average as a position of mediocrity. John mason observed that we should Do More. Do more than exist --- live.

Do more than hear --- listen.
Do more than agree --- cooperate.
Do more than talk --- communicate.
Do more than grow---bloom.
Do more than spend—invest.
Do more than think—create.
Do more than work—excel.
Do more than share—give.
Do more than decide—discern.
Do more than consider—commit.
Do more than forgive—forget.
Do more than help—serve.
Do more than coexist—reconcile.
Do more than sing—worship.
Do more than think—plan.
Do more than read—apply.
Do more than choose—focus.
Do more than wish—believe.
Do more than advise—help.
Do more than encourage—inspire.
Do more than add—multiply.
Do more than change—improve.
Do more than dream— DO
   An average mind only wanna exist all he thinks about is his survival while a great mind thinks beyond existing alone he want to live, he wants to be remembered for something, he wants to impart the world and not just exist in it without a trace like an average mind thinks.
   Virtually the larger percentage of the world population are averages and many are okay with their current position buy not okay with what they have. For instance Mr X a young man came to you for financial help and you trying to help decided not to give him money but to further his education for him. An average mind here wants the money(material) and careless about the education and knowledge(self-importance). He only wants to satisfy his present problem and curiosity he forgets about the future, but a great mind say to himself I did better take the education for what if another financial problem arise will I run to this man again? 

   Average mind is the worst of all mind because of the following:1 you see your self better than some people. 2 you want to behave like a high class hereby leading to loss of resources and 3 he always wants more but don't want to do more.                                                A students who got a C(average) grade in a course was happy with himself and was even celebrating. Then I asked me my friend why are you celebrating, he said he didn't fail and some people failed. He had forgotten some people also got an A. This is a typical example of how average minds think.

   LASTLY never forget that famous quote "great minds discuss ideas, average mind discuss events and small minds discuss people. You need to start choosing what you really discuss

   INCONCLUSION to move from the mediocrity of been AVERAGE to the ultimate stage of GREAT we need to do more, create and discuss ideas 

AMAT VICTORIA CURAM

  The above Latin phrase means victory loves preparation. The main foundation of victory and success is preparation.
   VICTORY an act of defeating an enemy or opponent in a battle, game, or other competition. While PREPARATION is the process or action of making some or something ready or able to do or deal with
something.
   Hence we can convey the Marxism mentioned above to mean that in other to be victorious in any competition we need to be ready.
   Many world known organisation try to emphasise on the effect of preparation on our live. A very good example of this is the slogan of the boys scout, always be prepared(ABP). The scout is of the opinion that an unprepared man is a dead man, and as we all know dead men tell no tales.
   A student will be required to read his or her own books as a preparation for his examination which if he fails to do will lead to failure, nemo quod non abet(you can't give what you don't have) it is pertinent to know that we can't offer what we don't have a dumbskull cannot offer knowledge, so as a poor man cannot offer riches.
   Having a well defined preparation
system will increase one's chances of becoming a strong competitor. Many times an important part of preparation is the concept that time is of the essence. We need to be prepared at the right time.
   Benjamin Disraeli's viewpoint on preparation was that the secret of success in life is when a person is ready for his once in a lifetime opportunity. And the great SUN TZU in his work ART OF WAR conveyed an unprepared army as a dead army.
   corollary to this, victory and preparation are in love with each other, of in fact they are married and undetachable, you cannot have 1 without having another.
   In conclusion, because of all the verdicts that support preparation as a foundation for victory I have come to a clear understanding and assertion of a fact that preparation is life. TO BE ALIVE IS TO BE PREPARED.

REDEFINITION BY FIRE.

   "These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold". - 1 peter 1:7
   What are you thinking right now? Do you think all your trials and failures are killing you ? Do you think they are there to hinder your success?. My brother I think you might b wrong because this trials are only there to make you a better person.
   Failure is the most important step to reaching success, but it can still feel like it's crushing your soul. To make failure your friend and not your enemy, you must overcome it. To overcome failure there are some certain steps we should take:
   Failure can take a hefty emotional toll, and that's okay. What's important is getting the negative feelings you have out of your system so you can regroup and tackle what's next.
   In this time of tribulation you need to keep telling your self it is okay, for no success comes without failure, eradicate failure from your mind and take risks. Pele once said that a man who is unwilling to take a risk is unwilling to be successful.
   This trials a like fire and when we pass through them we become purified and more beautiful like raw GOLD that had been refined. WALT DISNEY was fired from the Kansas City Star because his editor felt he "lacked imagination and had no good ideas."
   Dont let people ever tell you cant do something simply because you are not achieving it or you are failing at it. When ferrucio Lamborghini approach enzo Ferrari about the misgivings of his car, ENZO told 'Lamborghini, you may be
able to drive a tractor but you will never b able to handle a Ferrari properly.' This was the point when Lamborghini finally decided to make a perfect car.
   Soichiro HONDA was turned down by Toyota Motor Corporation for a job after interviewing for a job as an engineer, leaving him jobless for quite some time. He started making scooters of his own at home, and spurred on by his neighbors, finally started his own business.
   Most of us take EINSTEIN's name as synonymous with genius, but he didn't
always show such promise. Einstein did not speak until he was four and did not read until he was seven, causing his teachers and parents to think he was mentally handicapped, slow and anti-social. Eventually, he was expelled from
school and was refused admittance to the
Zurich Polytechnic School. It might have taken him a bit longer, but most people would agree that he caught on pretty well in the end, winning the Nobel Prize and changing the face of modern physics.
   Thomas Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the
light bulb. Of course, all those unsuccessful attempts finally resulted in the design that worked. This example further more solidify our argument .... Imagine 1000 mistakes now coming together to form the thesis of a theory.
    There are several others who have failed before becoming utmost success. E.g Abraham Lincoln, Maryln Monroe, charlie chaplain, the wright brother etc all failed before archiving extraordinary success that will shake the worlds soda for a long time.
   If all these people can make it, I can make it and you can make it.

EGOISM

   The theory of egoism in philosophy posite that man by his nature is self interested or should be. Altruism is the
opposite of egoism. The term “egoism” derives from “ego,” the Latin term for “I” in English. Egoism should be distinguished from egotism , which means a psychological overvaluation of
one’s own importance, or of one’s own
activities.
    Can a man perform an action to satisfy the interest of others without thinking of his own self interest ? What are the effect of this behaviour on our contemporary society ? This are questions we shall be accessing.
    Hobbes once argued that if there was a universal truth he knew of 1 and that is the fact that man always act base on his self interest. He further supported this motion by giving an explanatory example in his popular book Leviathan, Hobbes maintains that, "No man giveth but with intention of good to himself; because gift is voluntary; and of all voluntary acts the object to every man is his own pleasure."
    I was once in a professor's class when a student raised the issue of Jesus as opposed to the theory, this student said that Jesus couldn't have been self interested by laying down his life for the whole world, but what really amused me was the reply of professor a man I call the CZAR OF KNOWLEDGE. The professor said if Jesus is God he should know all thing, which the whole class agreed to, and the prof said Jesus must have knew that his death will grant him over 2000years of glory. In the strong sense this theory holds that man cannot but act in their self interest even when they disguise otherwise.
    For example, egoist may claim that
seemingly altruistic behavior (giving a stranger some money) necessarily does have a self-interested component. For example, if the individual were not to offer aid to a stranger, he or she may feel guilty or may look bad in front of a peer group.
    In conclusion egoism is a fraught with the logical problem of collapsing into a closed theory, and hence being a mere assumption that could validly be accepted as describing human motivation and morality, or be rejected in favor of a psychological altruism (or even a psychological ecologism in which all actions necessarily benefit the agent’s environment).
     In my own view as an altruist the theory of egoism is practically lagging and unsuitable for any society. Today, this theory rules us, it controls us and its destroying us if we don't start taking precautionary measures against it.
    The believe in self interest is the beginning of most society vices, everybody is like mine me mine me and mine alone; nobody thinks about us we we. Our leaders today and most of the youths are only interested in themselves alone and this needs instant attention
  ***For further readings check https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egoism***

HONOUR

              Many a time we have conceived honour to mean high esteem or respect; like for a queen, president or king but in the real sense of reality HONOUR can be said to be something regarded as a rare opportunity and bringing pride and pleasure; a privilege. It is a privilege that brings pride and pleasure. honour is something that we are born with we don't loose it even when we claim otherwise, it cannot be granted and so it cannot be lost.

         To achieve honour we need different senses which include inter alia ,the nobility of the soul, magnaminity etc honour derives from the perceived virtuous conduct and personal integrity of the person endowed with it as opposed to the general believe that honour deals with reputation fame and money

         Gone are those days when honour is measured by the estate of a lord or a blue blooded aristotlean. NOW WE ARE IN A TIME OF OUR TIME . A time where honour is measured by the content of the character and the values of the heart.

          According to  Richard Nisbett there are three conditions whereby honour is tested the most, these include:

 1.  a scarcity of resources

 2.  situations in which the benefit of theft and crime outweighs the risks

 3.  a lack of sufficient law-enforcement

        PROJECTING into each and everyone of these conditions we could discover 1 uniting fact which is common to all and that's the issue of free and independent decisions in very complicated scenario; an honourable man wont commit theft base on the fact that he is hungry or think because the law enforcers in his location are weak, hence decides to take that opportunity to commit crime.

        HONOUR cant be accumulated by the sword{force} but by our characters and deeds. AND so it cant be taken away by the sword except if we loose it . we keep believing in what we believe so as to achieve our relieve.

       IN OUR CONTEMPORARY SOCIETY TODAY, it seems we have forgotten about the credibility of our leaders we only care about what they have and what they give us during the election, we forget that this people are responsible for building the future of our communities and saddling an inadequate man with such enormous responsibility will lead to a great disruption to our future.

       My dear readers, am using this opportunity to raise our attention to the fact that cars money and strength do not confer HONOUR but what confers HONOUR is our deeds, characters and self control in complicated occasions  

WHAT IS TIME?

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         PEOPLE have continued to stall on progress and search for success due to their disregard for time; for this main reason today we will be prompted to discus the issue "what is time", what are the consequences of not keeping to time. inter alia.

         TIME can be describe as one of the rarest resources. we need time to achieve, we need time to live, to fulfill or to do anything, this have led many scholars around the world to even refer to TIME as money.

         TIME is a measure in which events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future, and also the measure of durations of events and the intervals between them. Time is often referred to as the fourth dimension, along with the three spatial dimensions.

         Everything is time ... time is value ... what we think of what we aspire, in creating what we deserve we need time ,to get time we need focus , time is too limited and rare so we have to be focused on scheduling time ... just like the old adage time and tide waits for nobody. so we have to keep chasing time

          The Greek have two distinct principle named chronos and kairos ... meaning numeric time while the later means right time or opportune moment ... this literally means that in other to achieve success or purpose we need to use our numeric time at the right or opportune moment.

          THE  concept of time is also evident in the bible:,Ecclesiastes 3 1-8 also support the motion of chrono-kairos .... This verse makes for that there is a time for everything, a time for this a time for that ... This simply means that there is a time for everything ... If we use our time well at the right time, we can achieve the best.

           COROLLARY to this TIME is also said to be the distention of the mind by which we grasp the past by memory ,the present by attention and the future by expectation according to the confessions of st Augustine (book11)

           IN otherwords, we need to pay attention to our memory to achieve our expectations

                                                                                                                                       Thank YOU